You Are My Miracle
by itaintmebabe
Summary: Emma and Sean broke up. It's over. So then why does Sean keep thinking about Emma? Why does he dream of Emma every night? And why does Emma's heart skip a beat whenever she sees Sean? Will these two teenagers reunite, or will it all just end?
1. This Mask I Wear

A/N: This is my first fan fiction, so forgive me if it sucks! Just so you guys know, everything in italics is a character's thoughts.

Emma Nelson dully looked around the classroom. _Who are these people? _she wondered. They were her classmates, people she had known for years, yet they were strangers to her. Her eyes scanned across the room, falling on Sean Cameron. _I thought I knew you. But I guess I was wrong. _

xXx

The thing Emma hated most about walking down the hallway was seeing all the couples there. JT and Manny, who always seemed to be laughing together, Paige and Spinner, with their cuddling and nicknames, and Jimmy and Hazel, who seemed to be on Cloud 9. And then there was Ellie and Sean. They seemed so right for each other, they were so alike. Sean always seemed so happy around her. Had Sean been that happy with Emma?

Emma shook the thought out of her head. It didn't matter. She had Chris now. Sweet, funny, intelligent Chris. She knew Chris would never hurt her, would never make her cry. This gave her a secure feeling that she had never had with Sean. Chris was the perfect boyfriend, a guy some girls only dreamed of. But if that was true, then why was it that whenever she saw Sean, she got this strange feeling? It was like a hot burning fist was pressed to her stomach every time she saw him. _Stop thinking about him, _she willed her mind. _You have Chris, you have Chris, you have Chris. _That was her motto these days. She wanted control, and that's what she got with Chris. A safe, controlled dating experience. She ignored the voice screaming in her head _That's all he can give you! _

Emma sighed and closed her eyes. She was always so tired these days. Ever since Snake had fallen out of remission, money was tight in the Simpson-Nelson household. So Emma had to work double shifts at her internship. Even though her mother insisted she didn't have to work so much, Emma knew that the money was needed for Snake's treatment. But she would get home late at night, and then she wouldn't be able to sleep because she was so worried. She just couldn't get herself to stop _thinking_. The result was that she only got about three hours of sleep. _Oh, God, I can't do this anymore. But it's worth it, it's worth it if it saves Snake. _

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Nature Girl!" a voice sounded out from behind her.

_Please, God, no. Not today. For one day in my life, let Jay and his gang leave me the hell alone. _Apparently God was taking a vacation, because soon she was surrounded by Jay, Alex, Amy, Towerz, and Sean (who had a slightly worried expression on his face). Emma walked over to her locker, but still he followed, vicious words spewing out of his mouth and hitting down hard on Emma's ears.

"But, honestly, Tree Hugger, I'm so glad to see you. I was wondering if I could sign up for that lovely little environmental club of yours. Because secretly, not only do I love the outdoors, but I've got a huge crush on you. You know, that whole Flower Queen thing is very sexy. It drives guys like Sean and me wild. And you! You're just gorgeous! Who wouldn't want to date a girl like you? Why, you're so skinny you must be anorexic. That's so hot. And that whole flat-as-a-board thing you've got going on?" Jay leaned against a locker, right up in Emma's face, which was determinately staring at the inside of her locker. "Oh, yeah, Emma. All guys have to do is look at you, and then they'll realize why Sean dumped your sorry ass. Not only are you an uptight bitch, but you look like shit."

That was it. That was _it_. Emma slammed her locker so hard even Jay flinched. Emma whirled around to face Jay. Her eyes were smoldering, burning.

"Fuck you." Emma said, her voice deathly quiet and yet shaking with rage and hate. Whatever Jay was expecting, it certainly wasn't _that_.

"_What_ did you just say to me?" he asked.

"You heard me. Fuck you." Emma turned her head away from Jay, and looked around at Towerz, Amy, Alex, and finally she let her gaze rest on Sean. She didn't look away, even when she said, "Fuck you _all_." And with that, she stormed away.

xXx

A/N: I hope everyone liked the first part. Don't forget to R&R!


	2. Putting The Pieces Back Together

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone. Hope you all like the next chapter!

_Stop it. Stop staring at her. _Sean Cameron tried to look away, but he couldn't. _Damn it, Cameron, would you stop staring at Emma? _It was just that she looked so different. So empty. It was if she had stopped caring. As if she had stopped feeling. It wasn't the Emma he knew. _She's worried, worried about Snake. That's all._ He tried to convince himself that Snake's cancer was why Emma was so depressed, but Sean knew that it wasn't that. It was his fault as well. Not only had he dumped her in front of Jay and his gang, but he watched silently as Jay tormented her every day.

The bell rang, and Sean watched as Emma gathered her books and started to walk out the door. Kwan stopped her and asked her if she was all right.

Emma smiled, a smile so different than the smiles that Sean remembered. Then Sean realized it was faked.

"I'm fine, Ms. Kwan. Just a little tired. But thanks for asking. See you tomorrow."

Sean knew Emma wasn't fine. He watched as she moved silently down the hallways like a ghost.

"Cameron!" Sean turned. It was Jay, followed closely by Alex, Amy, and Towerz. Sean nodded in acknowledgment at Jay, and then slipped into the group. Jay noticed Emma walking up ahead, and smiled. "Oh, good. I've been lookin' for someone to yell at."

"Maybe we should just leave her alone." Sean said casually, as if he really couldn't care less.

Jay laughed shortly. "You hot for the tree hugger? Again? What about the vampire?"

Sean shrugged. "We broke up. And you know I can't stand Emm- her. It's just, it's stupid. Gets boring, messing with her every day."

"If you'd rather go hang with someone else, go right ahead." Jay wasn't joking anymore. Sean didn't say anything in response. "Yeah, I thought so."

Sean watched as Jay started teasing Emma about- what else? The environment. Then her looks. Sean wanted to stop Jay, wanted to tell him how beautiful she was. No, he wanted to tell Emma how beautiful she was. Tell her how every single night, he dreamed about her. Tell her how much he missed her, how worried he was about her. He wanted to tell her that sometimes, when he was kissing Ellie, he would close his eyes so tightly and pretend he was kissing Emma instead. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he had always loved her. He wanted to tell her that when Ellie had called it quits, he had waited for the pain to hit him. And that when he felt no emotions at all, that was the moment he realized that he couldn't live without her. He wanted to tell Emma everything. And more than anything, he wanted her to love him. He needed her to love him.

Emma suddenly slammed her locker. "Fuck you." _That_ was unexpected. Sean had never heard Emma swear before, and to say something like that to Jay. You just didn't do it. Emma looked at Sean. He felt a jolt running through him. "Fuck you all."

So she still hated him. That hurt. She ran off, and instantly he started to follow her. Jay grabbed his arm, holding him back.

"You're not seriously going to follow her," he said, smiling uncertainly.

Sean jerked his arm away. "I'll be right back." He turned around, and ran after Emma.

xXx

Sean had dreams that went just like this. Dreams in which he would follow Emma, and talk to her, and he would know exactly what to say. But this wasn't a dream. He followed Emma as she walked down into an empty hallway, watched as she leaned against a locker. He walked over to her.

"Hey," he said, hoping she wouldn't be mad.

Emma looked at him and narrowed her eyes. "Leave me alone."

Ah, well. He knew it wouldn't be easy. "Nah, I'm good here. I want to talk to you."

"Now you want to talk to me? I practically begged you to talk to me a few months ago. What did you do? You dumped me in front of all your stupid friends, ignored me, and then spat in my face."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorrier than you can even imagine." _Please believe me_ he silently begged.

"You're _always_ sorry! Always! I'm so tired of you being sorry!"

"Well, what am I supposed to say?"

"_Nothing_! Don't say anything! Just leave me the hell alone like you usually do!"

Did she have to be so goddamned stubborn? "Look, I'm just trying to do the right thing!" he said a little louder than he meant to.

Emma snorted. "For the first time in your entire life."

"Why are you like this?" he yelled.

"Like what?"

"Like, the way you judge me! The way you think you're so much better than me, acting as if our break-up was completely my fault. What about you? Maybe if you actually had time to spend five minutes with me we'd still be together!"

Emma threw her books at the locker as hard as she could. "I'M SORRY!" she yelled so loudly a couple of students poked their heads in and out of the classroom. Sean jumped back, startled by her outburst. Then just as sudden, her anger seemed to fall away, as if her mask was finally slipping. Emma burst into tears, and slipped down the locker sobbing quietly. Sean sat down next to her, and loosely put his arms around her, waiting to see if she would push him away. When she slipped her arms around his neck, he pulled her onto his lap and held her tightly.

"It never stops," she sobbed.

"Shh...it's okay. It's okay," he comforted.

"I get up, take care the baby, go to school and basically let Jay torment me, work for hours, come home exhausted, but I have to take care of the baby again, then at about midnight I get into bed, but I can't sleep. I can't sleep at night, Sean. I get about four hours sleep if I'm lucky. Then it all starts over again. Every day. This happens every day. Every day of my _life_." She pushed her face into his shirt and cried even harder. She felt so weak. And Sean knew, he could tell that she had been broken. Because when you put the pieces back together, you're never quite the same as you used to be. "I can't do it. I just can't do it anymore," she cried. Sean rubbed small circles onto her back and held her tighter. She buried her head into his neck. She felt so cold against his skin, yet he felt as if she had burned a mark onto his skin. They sat there, holding each other, until Emma suddenly pulled away.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Not again." She pulled away from him.

He looked at her. "I'm sorry."

"Just...just go away."

"Not a chance." Emma looked away, suddenly interested in the back wall.

"Emma. Emma, look at me." He grabbed her wrist, and she tugged her hand back. "Leave me alone!" she snapped. But when she jerked her hand back, her sleeve had pulled back reveling her arm. Her arm...

There was angry red scars up and down her arm. _No. Not Emma. _Sean felt sick at the thought of Emma hurting herself. Emma tried to cover up the marks, but he wouldn't let her.

"Em," he said, his voice slightly shaking.

"Sometimes I have to cut myself to make sure that I'm still human. To make sure that I'll still bleed, that I'm still capable of feeling pain," she whispered. She jumped up.

"I have to go. I'm late for class."

"Don't walk away from me," he said.

She looked him in the eyes, and he could see her anger returning. "You walked away from me. Why can't I walk away from you?"

Sean tried to think of the right answer. _Because I want to help you, because I want to talk, because I need you. _Then he realized he was being selfish. "You're right. You should. You should walk away from me and never look back."

Emma looked surprised. She took a step closer. "At midnight, come to my home. I'll leave my bedroom window open and my lights on. We can talk then."

She turned her back to him and started to walk to her class. But she didn't just walk away. Before she turned the corner she looked back. "Thank you," she said. Then she smiled. Sean took that smile and tucked it deep within his heart.

A/N: Don't forget to review!


	3. The Reason Is You

A/N: Here's Chapter Three. I hope everyone likes it, and don't forget to R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the song The Reason and I never will. But I do own Sean Cameron. I keep him in my closet ;-)

_Will he come tonight?_ Probably not. Why would he? _He dumped you. Isn't that proof that he doesn't give a shit about you? _But the look in his eyes...he looked like he really did care. And as much as she tried to convince herself that she didn't have feelings for Sean, she knew there was no point. She still cared for him. Deeply. But there was Chris, dependable Chris who would never hurt her. She didn't have that same guarantee with Sean.

_Why I am comparing the two of them? Sean doesn't like me that way. He has Ellie now. You had your chance. _It was just that when Sean put his arms around her, she felt so safe. It was if he had protected her from all the hurt and pain she was going through.

Emma walked outside Degrassi and into the harsh glare of the sun. She didn't really care if she missed math class. She sat down on the steps, leaned back, and closed her eyes. How stupid was she? To think that if she just didn't feel anything it would all go away. Instead it had just built up inside of her, and now it had exploded like a bursting dam. The constant pain was more than she could handle. She could feel hot tears leaking through her eyelids. She sat up and put her hand in her head, letting the tears flow unstopped down her cheeks.

"Emma?" Emma opened her eyes. Someone was looking down on her. A red-haired someone. Ellie Nash was staring at her with a concerned expression on her face.

"What happened?" Ellie sat next to her.

"Oh, just a guy." _I'm just crying because I still have feelings for Sean. You know, your boyfriend? _

Ellie smiled. "Sean, huh?"

"Wha-what? No, no, not Sean. I'm totally over Sean. You don't have to worry."

Ellie's smile widened. "I'm not worried about Sean. I'm worried about you."

Confused, Emma said "But he's your boyfriend. And you don't even know me."

"I broke up with him last week. And sure I don't really know you that well, but I've seen you around. Ash mentions you now and then. You seem pretty cool."

"Thanks." Emma sighed. "It's just, I'm supposed to be over him. Why do I still care for him when I know he doesn't like me back? And even if he does, I'll just end up getting hurt in the end."

Ellie put her arm around Emma's neck. "Sometimes you have to take that risk."

"It's like standing on a cliff. I want to jump, but I just can't." Emma laid her head down on Ellie's shoulder. "I'm scared."

"Sometimes, you just have to close your eyes and jump."

Emma wiped her tears away. "Thanks, Ellie."

"Anytime. You know, people say that you're some stuck-up princess, but you're not. You wanna grab a coffee at Starbucks or something?"

"I'd love to, but I'm broke."

Ellie laughed. "You've been sitting on the steps crying for most of third period. It's obvious you've had a really shitty day. You really think I'd make you pay?"

"Grande mocha Frappuccino?"

"_Grande?_"

"Yup!"

Ellie groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have offered to pay. Fine. One grande mocha Frappuccino on me. Let's go."

"Wait, now? I thought you meant after school. We can't skip."

"You've already missed most of the morning."

"Well... okay then. Let's get out of here."

Ellie grinned, and slipped her arm through the crook of Emma's elbow. "Let's go."

xXx

Late that night, Emma turned on every single light in her bedroom, then opened the window. She sat on her bed, and waited. Her clock read 11:48, and Sean hadn't shown yet. _I think I'll just close my eyes until he gets here. But I have to make sure not to fall asleep._

xXx

Sean silently slipped through Emma's bedroom window. He was twenty minutes late, but hopefully Emma wouldn't be mad. Then he noticed Emma, sleeping on her bed. He walked over, and brushed her golden hair out of her face. He pulled a chair up to her bedside, and watched her as she slept. Just watching her chest fall up and down, how she'd occasionally shift around in the covers or grip the sheets with her fingers. He longed to touch her. But she was with that Chris guy. He leaned down close to her face, so that their faces were just inches away from touching. _Just one kiss. She's sleeping, she'll never know. _Suddenly her eyes fluttered open, then widened. She instantly sat up, banging her head against Sean.

"Shit!" he yelled. She clamped her hand against his mouth. "My parents!" she moaned. "They'll hear!" They both sat there in silence, waiting for Spike or Snake to coming bursting through the door. Finally, Emma sighed in relief.

"I don't think they heard."

"Good." Emma nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, they'd kill you if they found you here. But what exactly were you doing two inches away from my face?"

"Um...well...you know..." Sean swallowed. "Emma, I'm glad you asked that because there happens to be an excellent reason why I was two inches away from your face. A great reason. A fabulous reason if you will. And I just know that you'll understand everything once I tell you this reason. This wonderful, interesting reason." Emma looked at him expectantly. "And the reason is...um, and the reason is...you?"

Emma grinned. "I love that song!" "Yeah, it's okay."

"So what did you want to talk about?" Emma looked at him, and Sean could tell she was now in serious discussion mode.

"Well," he began, "first things first." He took her wrist and pulled up her pajama shirt. "We have to talk about this." He gently ran his fingers up her forearm. Emma shuddered, as if she couldn't stand to be touched by him. Sean could feel his face getting hot. _Oh, God, don't tell me I'm blushing. _"Sorry." Emma shook her head. "No, it's just your fingers are really cold." So she wasn't repulsed by his touch. "Oh. Anyways, Emma, you just can't hurt yourself. You need to go into therapy or something. I really want to help you, but I...I don't know how." Emma wrapped her arms around her knees. "I know that I shouldn't do it, but it's like I'm addicted or something. I can't stop." "Which is why you need to get help. Please. I'm really worried about you." _Why the hell did I say that? She's gonna think I'm crazy about her or something. Which I am, but I still don't want her to know that. _

"It's nice to know that someone cares about me," she said finally.

"Your parents care about you. Your friends care about you."

"My friends don't realize that anything is wrong, and my parents are too busy being wrapped up in Jack and Snake's cancer." Her face fell. "Oh, God. Just listen to me. Whining about my bad moods when my dad had cancer. I'm such a selfish bitch." Emma buried her head in her arms. Horrified by her outburst, Sean scooted closer to her and rubbed her back. "Em...no, never. You're not selfish. You're anything but selfish." She lifted her head, and there were tears flowing down her face.

"I'm so scared," she whispered. "I'm losing him. I'm losing my dad. Why is this happening? Snake's about the nicest person in the world. What did he do to deserve it? I'm scared, but at the same time I'm mad. I'm mad that the cancer came back, and that Snake isn't strong enough to fight it. It's like a big war, and he's losing. My mom is depressed. Like, medically depressed. I found some Prozac in her bathroom cabinet. I think I've got it too, because I think about dying all the time." She grabbed her throat as if the words were hurting her. "I tried to kill myself last week. I took some pills. But then I got really terrified of actually dying. Of not being there anymore. I don't know if I believe in Heaven or Hell or any of that. What if when you die, that's really it? If it all just ends? Then I thought of Mom and Snake and I nearly drowned in guilt. If Snake dies, then Mom would be all alone. Well, she'd have Jack but he's not much of a companion. So I threw up the pills. I'd rather spend my entire life pretending then not having a life at all." Sean looked at her stunned by her confessions. He didn't know what to say, so he pulled her into a hug. After awhile, she pulled away. "It's almost 1:30. I gotta get some sleep."

"I'll see you in school tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. And Sean...thanks."

"For what?"

Emma was quiet for awhile. Sean waited for her answer. "For saving me."   
"You ever need help; you know where to find me."

"Yeah. Good night."

"Night, Em."

Sean climbed out the window and into the night, Emma's words still ringing in his head. _Thanks...for saving me._ He wanted to make himself better, stronger, for Emma. So that he could save her again and again and again. So that he could be her hero. She really was his reason.

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never mean to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

A/N: Personally, I didn't like this chapter too much. It was hard to write, and I did my best, but I still don't like it. I hope my readers like it though, so please review!


	4. Tell Me You Love Me

A/N: In the last chapter (Chapter Three: The Reason Is You), it ended with the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank (which I don't own). In the fourth line of the song, I typed "I never mean to do those things to you." It's supposed to be "I never _meant_ to do those things to you." Thanks for your wonderful compliments. I'm so glad people like it, and I hope you all like Chapter Four: Tell Me You Love Me.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Degrassi. If only...

"Sean!" Sean turned around. Emma was at the other end of the school hallway, running up to him. She leaned against his locker and smiled. Her smile was magic. Amber eyes flashing happily, she grabbed his hand and said, "There's something I have to tell you." Not waiting for his response, she announced, "I love you."

He didn't dare to believe her. "Not funny, Em."

She laughed. "I'm serious."

"Yeah, okay."

She looked hurt now. "Sean, I love you.'

He slowly met her gaze. "Really?" She nodded enthusiastically. "I don't care what you've done, I love you." She slipped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. They were so close, their lips about to touch,,,

"Mr. Cameron!" Sean woke up with a jolt, and lifted his head off his desk. Kwan was staring down at him, and she didn't look very pleased.

"Sean, if you could please try to keep awake in my class, then maybe I won't have to fail you. Sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah, sure," he grumbled.

"Glad you can see things my way. Now, if I may continue-"

Sean tuned out Kwan's lecture. There were more important things. Like Emma, and how not only did she haunt his dreams every night, but now she was in his school dreams. No not, haunt. Wrong word. More like she floated into them, like a goddess. She glowed and laughed and loved. He looked over at her now. She was paying rapt attention to Kwan, taking notes and occasionally looking over at her textbook. He had to talk to her. He had had enough of being alone.

xXx

The bell rang and Emma gathered up her stuff, headed for the doorway. But before she could leave, Sean touched her shoulder lightly.

"Can we go somewhere after school? I kinda have to talk to you about something."

"Um, sure. Where do you want to go?"

"Is the ravine okay?"

Emma nodded, and then he walked away and disappeared into the crowd.

xXx

The final bell rang. Emma walked to her locker to find Sean leaning against it staring into space. He turned his head and smiled at her. "Let's go." She followed him outside of the school and down into the ravine.

"So what's up?" she asked.

He made a motion as if he wanted to grab her hand, but then pulled back. "This isn't easy to say. And it's really unexpected. But I really- I li- I lo-." He took a deep breath. Emma started to realize what he was trying to say. But no, he wasn't- he couldn't- _did he still like her?_ Sean started again. "Em, I love you.' Emma didn't say anything, as much as she'd like to. She remembered the daydreams she would have right after he broke up with her. They all went somewhat like this. Except this was real, and she didn't know what to do or say, and Sean was staring at her, waiting for an answer. "Well, do you, you know, feel the same way?" Silence. This was by far the worse and the best moment of her life. Sean finally confessed that he loved her, and she couldn't say a damn word. _Say something, you idiot, say anything! Don't just gawk at him like a moron!_

"Um, are you okay?" Sean looked slightly worried. No doubt this afternoon was not going exactly how he had planned it.

Emma finally found her voice. "Yeah, you just...startled me, that's all." Sean smiled. "You looked like you went into cardiac arrest." Emma laughed softly, then she moved closed to Sean and hugged him. "I love you too," she told him.

Sean leaned in and kissed her lightly. He tasted like chocolate. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her in closer. He started to kiss her over and over again, until she felt like she would lose her mind. Then an unpleasant thought cut through the sweetness. She pulled away.

"But what about Chris?" she asked.

"Who?" he muttered as if still dazed from the kisses.

"My boyfriend," she reminded him. His face fell. "Oh, right. You're with Sharpe. Sorry." He became suddenly unable to look her in the eyes.

Emma's heart was aching. She had never felt this feeling with Chris, or with anyone else. This feeling of want, of passion, of lust. She had always imagined it would be sort of slutty to want someone this badly, but she was wrong. It felt incredible.

"Oh, who cares," she said on impulse. "I'll just break up with him. I don't care what people this anymore." He grinned and started to kiss her again. He laid her down gently on the grass.

"Is this okay?" he asked, his expression slightly worried. "This is perfect," she whispered back. But instead of kissing her, he leaned towards her ear. "You're so beautiful," he murmured. "I could kiss you for the rest of my life."

Emma pulled his head towards her. "Then kiss me," she said smiling sweetly. He laughed. "You're such a flirt." She grinned back. "And you're such a tease."

He rubbed her forearm and kissed her forehead. Then he pressed his lips against hers, sliding his tongue in and out her mouth. All her worries and her fears melted away instantly. At that moment, time stopped for Emma. There were no more seconds or minutes or hours or days. She moved with the natural course of time, slipping in and out of heaven.


	5. Only One

A/N: You may notice that this chapter is entitled "Only One". This is a song by Yellowcard. I'm sorry that I keep making songs into chapters, but I just can't help it! So many songs remind me of Emma/Sean relationships! I was seriously considering called Chapter One "My Happy Ending" and ending it with the song "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne, but I decided not to because Chapter One isn't about Emma being pissed at Sean, it's about Emma pretending everything's okay when it's not. And I couldn't work it into Chapter Two, because yes, Emma is pissed at Sean, and he yells at her a bit, but then they realize they're in love with each other (although they think the other one hates then.) Isn't that ironic? I love irony) and in the song everything ends sort of negatively so that didn't work. By the way, thanks for your wonderful compliments. I'm so glad people like it! I think I've babbled long enough, so I'll leave now so that everyone can R&R Chapter Five: Only One. Prepare yourselves for some serious drama.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the song only one.

How pathetic was it that Sean kept running every single second of his make-out session with Emma through his head? The way she felt in his arms and how she smelled like vanilla. _Probably was her perfume or something_. But still, the whole thing just overwhelmed him. Emma was going to break up with Chris, and then they'd be together. Finally.

A sharp pain knocked into the side of Sean's head. He turned to see a pissed-off Jay at his side. "You, are you even listening to me?"

"Uh, yeah, what were you saying?"

Jay sighed impatiently. "Alex and I broke up. She likes you. You two should go out." It was not a question.

"I don't think so."

"What's the matter with her? She's hot, she likes you, and she's one of us. What else is there?"

Sean shrugged. "Well, I uh, kinda was thinking of getting back with Emma." Jay laughed. "Yeah, right. Trust me on this one Sean; you don't want to go back to that freak." _Yes I do!_ "Unless of course," Jay said casually," "you'd rather screw her than hang with us."

Resisting the urge to hit him, Sean said," It's not like that."

"Sure. So what is it? The tree hugger or Alex?"

Sean wanted to run, run far away from Jay. But Jay was his best friend. Without him, the rest of them would go away and Sean would be alone. A complete outcast, and he didn't need that. _Maybe he's right. After all, Emma's just a girl. There are my friends. _No, that wasn't right, he loved Emma, she wasn't just a girl. _But if she really loves me, then she'll wait, right? Until Jay graduates or whatever. Then we can be together. She wouldn't want me to be alone. She'll understand, right? _

"I guess I'll go out with Alex, then." Jay nodded in approval. "Go tell her then. She's coming out of the girls' room now." Jay gave Sean a push and he walked over to Alex.

"So," she said cracking her gum, "you and me?" "I guess," he muttered, staring at his shoes. She suddenly slammed her mouth against his. _This is disgusting. _

She wasn't Emma, wasn't Emma at all. She shoved her tongue down his throat, she tasted like beer and smelled like cigarettes, and he nearly choked on her gum. It was a wonder he didn't puke all over her.

"Well, see you around," she said, smiling in a way that she seemed to think was seductive, and walked away. Sean sighed, slipped his bandana off, and ran his fingers through his hair. He turned around and started to walk away, when he saw Emma Nelson, the only girl he'd ever loved, standing like a statue in the hallway, her eyes filled with tears.

xXx

Emma met Sean's glance. He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't want to hear it. Already she could feel the waves of pain hitting her. He didn't love her, he had never loved her. It was all a game to him. But it had been so real for her. So she did the only thing she knew how to do: she turned around and ran. She could hear Sean calling out her name, then he started to run after her. But Emma had already gotten a good head start. She ran so hard that she felt like her legs would give out. And finally they did. She fell against a locker, trying to catch her breath. Sean caught up to her. "Emma, wait, please, it wasn't what it looked like-" he started to say.

"Explain what? I saw everything! All Jay has to do is snap his fingers and you go running to do whatever the hell he wants. God, I would have done _anything_ for you! And this is how you repay me? By swapping spit with Alex, my worst enemy, just because Jay said so? You make me sick."

"Please, let me explain-"

Emma felt someone's arm link through hers. She turned to her side to see that Paige, of all people, was staring at Sean with a fierce hatred. "Sean, I think you've said enough," Paige snarled. Sean pulled Emma away from Paige. "Would you just listen to me?" he asked.

"Don't touch me, don't you _ever_ touch me," Emma said furiously.

"You didn't seem to mind me touching you yesterday in the ravine!"

Emma slapped Sean as hard as she could, so hard that her hand burned. Sean's head snapped back, and Paige re-linked arms with Emma. "Come on, honey, let's get you out of here."

Safely inside the girls' room, Emma started to cry. Paige rubbed her back comfortingly. "It's okay, hun, everything's fine. Ellie, Ashley, and hazel should be here soon." Emma looked up with her tear-stained eyes. "Why-why are you being so nice to me?" she asked. Paige shrugged. "Well, I'm friends with Ellie and she's friends with you, so I thought, we might as well all be friends, right? You and Manny still aren't talking, so why not?" Paige smiled. "So are we friends?" she asked. Emma nodded. "Yes. We are." Paige leaned over and hugged her tightly.

The door flew open. "I can't believe you slapped Sean!" Ellie exclaimed. "That was so cool! You are so cool!" squealed Hazel. "He totally deserved it, the jerk. But why were you so mad in the first place?" asked Ashley. Emma explained about what happened in the ravine, and how Sean and Alex were together. Ellie clenched her fist threateningly. "You want me to teach that Alex bitch a lesson?" "Hey, I bet I could get Spinner to beat up Sean," Paige offered. "Yeah, I could get Jimmy to do the same!" Hazel put in. "Um, since Craig and I are sort of friends, and you're already friends anyways with him, he could also beat up Sean." Emma shook her head. "No one needs to beat up Sean, and Ellie, don't you dare touch Alex." All four girls stared at Emma. "If anyone is gonna beat up Alex, it's gonna be me," Emma said darkly. "And on that pleasant note..." Ellie joked.

"Hey, I'm having a sleepover tonight and you four are my guests," announced Paige. "I can totally come," said Hazel. "I might squeeze in an appearance," said Ellie with a grin. "I'll be there," confirmed Ashley. "So will I," said Emma.

Ashley leaned in and gave Emma a one-armed hug. "Don't worry, Em. Just forget about him, you deserve so much better." "I know," said Emma, smiling at all her new friends.

xXx

It had been a month since Emma had seen Alex and Sean kissing. So much had changed. People she had hardly known last month were now her close friends. She spend most of her time with Paige, Hazel, Ellie, Ashley, Dylan, Marco, JT, Toby, Spinner, Craig, and Jimmy- eating at the Dot, drinking coffee on the boardwalks, or just sitting on one of Degrassi's staircases talking. At first it was a little weird being on of the youngest ones, but they didn't treat her any different. Emma felt more secure than she had in weeks. She had broken it off with Chris. She told him about kissing Sean when they were together, and she doubted Chris would speak to her again. But somehow it didn't matter.

Emma was also going through counseling. Her friends knew about her cutting and depression, and they were all incredibly supportive. She talked to them almost every day, and they helped her as much as they could. She still cried a lot, and she felt depressed at times. But she wasn't hurting herself, and that was the main thing. Emma had also told her parents about how she worked too hard and her fears about Snake. So her mother hired a part-time babysitter for Jack, and Emma started to take shorter job shifts so she didn't have to work as hard. And best of all, Snake was finally getting better. Her life was finally coming together.

But there was something missing. During the day she was usually either too busy or having so much fun she forgot about it. But late at night, before she went to sleep, she could feel that something was wrong. A part of her life was missing, and it was tearing her apart. And she knew what it was. She wanted Sean in her life.

Emma closed her locker. She had to meet her friends at The Dot in 20 minutes, but it was raining so hard, she called Jimmy to tell him to tell everyone else she'd be late, that she was waiting for the rain to stop. She stood behind the door and waited. But then she noticed a figure standing in the rain. She would recognize that hoodie anywhere.

xXx

The rain kept falling, but Sean didn't care. He really didn't care about anything these days. It had been a month since Emma had caught him and Alex kissing, He'd done everything possible to apologize. He ended it with Alex instantly and he tried to talk to Emma, but it seemed like her new friends were guarding her wherever she went. A month ago Emma had loved him. Now she felt as if she needed to be protected from him. _I always wanted to protect you, but not from myself. _Sean could feel hot tears burning in his eyes. _What's the point in crying? It's not as if anyone cares._ And it was true. Sean was alone. Maybe he always had been.

xXx

Emma wanted to turn around and run, but her body had a mind of its own. Before she knew it, she was standing next to Sean. He turned and looked at her, surprised. He was crying.

Emma swallowed. "You're crying," she pointed out. _Oh, that's great Emma. Real smooth. _Sean looked away. "No, I'm not. It's just the rain."

Emma ignored his excuse. She knew him better than that. "Why are you crying?" she asked gently. Sean crossed his arms around his chest. "Why do you care? You hate me, remember?" he said bluntly.

"I don't hate you."

"Then why have you been ignoring me for the last week? Why did you slap me?" Emma frowned. "What, you think you didn't deserve it?" Sean shrugged. "Well, yeah, I did. I'm just saying, it's kinda obvious that you hate me."

"Sean, I don't hate you." Emma paused. "I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I mean, I've tried to hate you but I can't."

"Why not?"

Emma looked away. "I dunno."

"Come on. You think I don't know when you're lying?" Emma's vision was blurred with tears. "I just can't, okay?"

"Would you just tell me why?"

"Because I still love you, okay? Could you just drop it and leave me alone?"

Emma slumped against the wall and hid her face in her hands, crying softly. Sean walked over to her, pulled her hands down, and winded his fingers through hers. Emma looked down. "Em, look at me." She looked up into those eyes of his, and remembered how she used to get lost in them. How happy she used to be around him. How she'd spent most of class doodling his name. How had she gone on without him? She had forgotten how much she cared for him. But how could something as good as love hurt so bad? "I need you," Emma admitted. Sean put his arms around her and she hugged him so hard her arms ached. "I love you," he murmured. She leaned up and kissed him as passionately as she knew how to. The rain was still falling hard, but Emma just didn't give a damn. The only thing she needed was Sean.

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go

Scream my lungs out to try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ram my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

Something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go

Scream my lungs out to try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There's just no one who gets me like you

You are my only, my only one

Here I go

So dishonestly, leave a note

For you, my only one

And I know

You can see right through me

So let me go

And you will find someone

Here I go

Scream my lungs out to try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There's just no one, no one like you

You are my only, my only one

My only one

My only one

My only one

You are my only, my only one

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!


	6. I Can't Breathe

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

Emma knew that she was giggling like a mindless valley girl, but she just couldn't help it. Sean whirled her around the hallway. "Stop, Sean, you're making me dizzy! And what if a teacher sees, we're going to get in so much trouble." Sean laughed and kissed her nose. "It's just I'm so happy. Look at that, a B on my English paper all because of you."

"Sean, I just helped you organize your ideas. You wrote it all by yourself."

"Don't be so modest. I can admit it- my girlfriend is way smarter than me."

She tried to frown, but she still felt all light inside. "Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. We've only been back together a week and a half and already my grades are rising."

"That's because you keep calling me over for study dates," she teased. He ruffled her hair. "Hey, don't do that!" she exclaimed. She walked over to her locker and took a peek in the mirror. "Look, now my hair is all messed up. And of course I don't have my brush. I knew I shouldn't have lent it to Hazel. I know better than to ignore my women's intuition."

Sean walked up behind her, and put his hands around her waist. He rested his head on her shoulder. "You look beautiful. You are beautiful. And your hair is fine."

She turned around and gave him a peck on the lips. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom. Maybe some water will control it."

"Okay. See you in class."

Emma walked into the girls' room, and leaned down over the sink. She splashed some water into her hair, trying to smooth it down. She looked up and noticed her mascara was running. She would have to wipe it all off. She sighed, and started to splash cold water on her face.

Suddenly she felt someone grab her by the hair and yank her head back. She started to scream, but then a hand got shoved over her mouth. It was Alex.

"Listen up, you slutty little bitch," she hissed into Emma's ear. "If you ever talk to Sean, look at Sean, or even think about Sean again, I swear to God I'll kill you. I know where you live. It's in the school directory. You have a little brother, right? He's just a little baby boy. You love that kid, don't you? You wouldn't want him to get hurt, would you?" She paused. "Would you?" Emma didn't say anything. "Answer me, you stupid whore!" Alex smashed Emma's head into the sink. Emma could feel pain spreading through her. Blood was trickling down her forehead. She closed her eyes tight so Alex wouldn't see her cry.

Alex leaned down and put her mouth close up to Emma's ear. "You're not good enough for Sean. Sure, he may come from the wrong side of the tracks or whatever, but he's a way better person than you'll ever be. You cheated on that Chris guy. Who's to say you won't cheat on Sean? Sean deserves a prettier girl, a girl who's faithful, a girl who's not so uptight. Someone who understands him. Someone like me. If you really love him, let him go. He'll be happier without you." Then she walked out of the room, laughing quietly to herself. Emma slid down to the floor, curled up into a tight ball, and started to sob.

xXx

Sean was waiting outside the girls' washroom for Emma to come out. But when she did, she darted her eyes away, and turned the other way, her back facing Sean. _I guess she didn't see me. _So he snuck up behind her and put his hands around her eyes. "Guess who?" he asked playfully. "Sean, don't!" Emma cried out in a panicked voice, still refusing to face Sean. Suddenly, he felt a warm, sticky liquid trickle onto his hands. _What the-?_ He drew his hands back. There was blood on his hands. _Oh, my God._

"Emma, what is this?" he questioned.

"I have to go," she said. She sounded as if she was crying.

"No way!" She kept walking. "Would you look at me?" he asked angrily, grabbing her shoulders and whirling her around. He saw her face and jumped back. There was blood smeared on her forehead.

"Em. What happened? Who did this to you?" Emma shook her head. "I have to go to the nurse's office." "Talk to me. Tell me who did this to you!" Emma wiped tears away from her eyes. "Sean, don't do this. I-I can't talk to you anymore." He stared at her, horrified. "What? No..." Emma looked away. "Just...leave me alone. Please." Emma started to walk away. "I can't leave you alone. I love you!" he yelled after her. She didn't look back.

xXx

Emma lay down on her bed, hugging her pillow tightly, the tears streaming down her cheeks unchecked. She loved Sean, she couldn't live without him. But if she talked to him, then Alex would kill Jack. Her life was such a mess. She could actually feel her heart breaking. Was it possible to die of a broken heart? Just curl up into a little ball and die.

She heard a tapping noise at her window. She turned her head to see Sean knocking at the glass pane. She stared at him. There was no way she could let him in. What if Alex found out? She shook her head no at him. He mouthed the word _Please_. And then _I love you_. That pretty much did it. She got off the bed, and let him in.

Before she could get a single word out, he grabbed her and wrapped his arms tightly around her, and kissed her harder than he ever had before. She knew she should stop, but it felt so good. They kissed over and over again, and then he led her over to the bed. She fell back on the bed and he lay on top of her, still kissing her. He slid his hand up her skirt and started to trace little circles onto her thigh until she thought she would lose all self-control she had. After about half an hour, he pulled away.

"Good," he said, trying to catch his breath. "You don't hate me." She shook her head. "Of course I don't hate you. I love you so much. But I can't be with you." He put his hand to her face and started stroking her cheek. "Why not? Who hurt you today in the girls' room? Who's threatening you?" She didn't say anything. "It's Alex, isn't it? She keeps throwing you all these dirty looks." "No, it's not her," she muttered. He gently grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "Look me in the eyes and tell me it's not Alex." She buried her head into his chest and let out a sob. "She grabbed me by the hair. She told me if I talked to you she'd kill me and Jack too. She slammed my head into the sink. She told me you deserved better. A prettier girl, someone less uptight and faithful, someone who understood you." Sean's hand balled into fists. "How dare she hurt you? Who the hell does she think she is? Saying all that shit to you and hurting you. I swear, when I see her Monday, she's dead." Emma moaned. "God! Will everyone just stop making all these death threats?" She hid her head in her pillow. Sean pulled her onto his lap. She cried into his chest and he rocked her back and forth. "I'll talk to her, Em. I won't lose my temper, I promise. Don't cry. I'll protect you. You don't have to be afraid." She wiped her tears away on her sleeve. "Thanks, Sean. You're the best." Sean put his forehead against hers. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you too." She leaned back onto her bed and smiled up at him. "My parents won't be back for hours," she told him. Sean reached over and turned her lamp off. "Glad to hear it," he said. He let himself fall on top of her, and they started to make out. Sean slid his hand up her tank top and rubbed her stomach. He inched his hand higher and higher, until his fingers brushed against the edge of her bra. He slipped his hand under her bra and started to stroke her breast. He felt Emma gently bite down on his lip, and he bit back, not wanting to give in. He wanted so badly to take her clothes off and just make love to her there and then. He wanted...he had never wanted anyone so badly before in his life. But it wasn't what she wanted. He had to wait. He drew his hand out from under her shirt and pulled away. Emma looked up at him, confused. "Don't stop," she said quietly. He moaned and stroked her hair. "If I don't stop now, I might not be able to control myself later." She nodded and smiled up at him. "Thanks." He kissed her neck gently, and settled down next to her. He took her hand in his, and put both their hands on his chest.

"Emma?" he asked.

"What?" she responded.

"Do you want to get married?"

She looked up at him to see if he was being serious. He seemed to be. "What, like, now?"

"No, I mean when we're older or whatever."

She smiled lazily. "Sure, why not?" He tapped the side of her head playfully. "I was being serious."

"So was I." They smiled at each other. A warm powerful feeling spread through Emma. _I wish this moment could last forever_ she thought.

A/N: R&R!


	7. Will You Still Be Here When I Open My Ey...

A/N: Here's Chapter Seven: Will You Still Be Here When I Open My Eyes? R&R. And by the way, there is a bit of sex talk in this chapter. But I swear, the rating is still PG-13, and always will be.

The clear ring of the doorbell sounded through the house. Emma looked up from the book she was reading. The doorbell rang again, and Spike's voice floated down from upstairs.

"Em, honey, could you get that?"

"No problem," she yelled back. Getting up from the chair, she walked over to the doorway and opened the door. Standing outside was Manny.

Emma folded her arms across her chest. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice icy cold.

"I wanted to talk. Can I come in?"

Emma shrugged. "Whatever." Manny walked in and sat on the couch. Emma closed the door and sat next to her.

"So what do you want?" Emma questioned.

Manny looked down at her hands. "I miss having you as my best friend," she said quietly.

Emma felt hot anger burn inside her. "You can't possibly mean me. I'm a stuck-up prude princess, remember?"

"Look, I was wrong, okay?" Emma looked away. The truth was, she had missed Manny too.

"Em, I'm really-" Manny started to apologizing, and Emma realized she didn't need to hear it.

"No, it's fine. Forget it." Emma interrupted. She knew now that holding grudges only made her unhappy. Sean had shown her that.

Manny shook her head. "But I'm sor-"  
"I said, forget it. It's okay." Emma smiled nervously at Manny. "Best friends forever, right?" Manny burst into tears, and hugged Emma hard.

"Well, you don't need to cry." Emma said laughing. Manny kept crying. Emma could feel herself started to cry through her smile. "Damn it, Manny, now _I'm _crying too." The two girls hugged each other tightly.

"It feels good to have a best friend again," Manny whispered.

"Yeah," Emma whispered back. "It feels great."

xXx

Sean walked up to Emma, who was gossiping happily with Manny at her locker.

"And so Paige told me that Hazel heard Liberty telling Kendra that Towerz and her had gotten to _second base_! Can you believe that? This is the same girl who scolded Sean and me for holding hands in the hallway! I can still remember, she was all like 'Emma Nelson and Sean Cameron! Public displays of affection are against the code of conduct- you two know that! But since it is you, Emma, and we are friends, I won't tell the principal. But just this once.' And Sean was like, 'Um, we were just holding hands.'"

Manny shook her head in disbelief. "I'm telling you, that Towerz kid is bad news. Liberty would be much cuter with Toby or somebody."

"But he's so cute with Kendra!" Emma exclaimed.

Sean smiled to himself and walked up to Emma. "Sorry to interrupt the gossip fest, but Manny, can I talk to Emma?"

Manny grinned. "Of course. Just make sure you two don't go against the code of conduct." Emma laughed and shoved Manny lightly. "Shut up!" she squealed, and walked over to Sean.

"So what's up?" she asked.

"Do you want to come over to my house tonight? Study for that science test?"

"Sure. But we have to actually _study_ this time and not just make out," she said sternly.

"Oh, sure. No kissing. We'll study," he promised.

xXx

Emma and Sean were on his bed, kissing. (A/N: Would you be able to resist Sean? I know _I_ wouldn't) Sean kicked the science books off the bed. _So much for studying,_ Emma thought. _But oh my God, he's an amazing kisser. _Sean's hand started to unbutton Emma's jeans. She pushed his hand away and sat up.

"Sean, I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready." He didn't say anything, he just lay back down at the bed and stared at the ceiling. She lay down next to him.

"Do you hate me?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer. He put his arms around her.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried. And I'm not mad either, I understand. It's just that I love you more than anything in the entire world, and I do want to sleep with you. But we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. Okay?" he said.

Emma snuggled up against him. "Okay." Sean kissed the top of her head.

"But will you just...think about it?" he asked.

Emma nodded. "I will," she told him.

xXx

"Hey, Em," Manny said, sitting next to Emma on her bed. "You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah," Emma said nodding, "I did."

"What about?"

"Sex," Emma said bluntly.

Manny raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

"Sean wants to sleep with me," Emma explained.

"I figured. But what do you want?"

Emma sighed. "That's the thing. I can't really make up my mind. I mean, I love Sean so much, and I want to make him happy. But there are so many things that could go wrong."

Manny smiled sadly. "Sex is pretty scary, isn't it?" There was silence. "Well, go on," Manny said nudging her. "I know you have some questions for me. You're my bestest best, don't be embarrassed."

"Okay, I know that obviously if we do have sex, we ought to use protection." Manny grabbed Emma's shoulders. "You must use protection. Em, promise me you will make him wear a condom."

Emma shook off her hands. "Okay, calm down. But what about the pill? Should I use that too? And how do I get it?"

"Yeah, you should probably go on the pill just in case. Ever since my abortion, my mom lets me visit a female doctor privately. I could take you to her and you could get a prescription. Your parents wouldn't have to know," Manny said thoughtfully.

"Okay. Also, I was wondering- does it hurt?" Manny didn't say anything. "And don't sugarcoat your answer," Emma added.

Manny nodded. "Yeah. At first it really hurts. It feels like you're being ripped apart. But it stops hurting after awhile, and if you tell Sean that you're scared of the pain, he'll probably try to be as gentle as possible."

"Manny, you don't think..."

Manny put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't think what?" Emma swallowed. "What if I do sleep with him and afterwards he dumps me? I'm afraid that if I do agree to have sex with him, then I'll find out that he was just using me."

"Sean really loves you. I don't think he's using you. But you should talk to him. Ask him what he would do if you got pregnant, what he's going to do about protection, and make sure he's not using you," Manny said reasonably. Emma bit her lip. "You're right. I think I'll call him now and tell him to come over to talk." Manny gave her a hug. "You have to call me tonight and tell me everything." "Why don't you just spend the night?" Manny nodded. "Sure. See ya tonight."

Emma dialed Sean's number. He told her he'd be over there soon. Emma lay down on her bed and waited.

xXx

Sean sat next to Emma. "So let me guess: this is about what I said yesterday." Emma nodded. "Yeah. I've been thinking about it a lot. I still haven't made a decision, but I wanted to know if we could talk about it. If that wouldn't make you too uncomfortable?"

Sean shook his head. "No, it's fine."

"Let's say we did do it. What would we do if I got pregnant?" she asked.

"Well, I know you're against abortion. But I don't really think I'd make a good dad. You'd make a great mom, but I don't know anything about babies," he admitted.

"No, you'd make a good dad. But I know what you mean about not being ready. A baby would be so much responsibility. And what I saw with my mom, labor hurts. Really badly. But I dunno, if I saw my baby, I don't think I'd be able to give it up for adoption. So I guess I'd want to keep it. And also, if we did have sex, then we'd have to use protection. I know a place where I can get the pill. What about condoms?"

"I'd get those," Sean assured her. "We'd definitely use protection."

Emma bit her bottom lip. "This is really hard to say, and I know it's going to sound totally horrible."

Sean took her hand in his. "Just say it. I won't get mad."

"I'm afraid that after we do it, then that'll be it. You'll just have been using me." Emma looked up to see Sean's reaction.

"Emma. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me. I love you. I love everything about you." He paused and smiled to himself. "I love the way you see the good things in everything. The way you smell like vanilla. The way you're absolutely addicted to coffee. The way you seem to care about everything. The way you don't let anyone walk over you, and you always express your beliefs. The way you never give up or back down. The way you change your nail polish twice a week. The way you're terrified of heights. The way you believe in me when no one else does. Emma, I love you, and I'd never use you. Please trust me." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Emma closed her eyes and sighed.

"Sean, is it okay if I spend the night at your house tomorrow?" she asked. He pulled back from the hug. "You mean..." Sean trailed off. Emma nodded her head. "Yeah." Sean looked surprised for a second, then smiled and hugged her tightly. "Of course." He kissed her forehead. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow night." Sean started to walk out of her room when Emma called after him, "I love you." He turned and smiled at her. "I'll always love you," he told her.

xXx

Manny bounced into Emma's room later that night. "So...?" she asked. Emma looked at her strangely. "What?" Manny grabbed her arm. "Tell me what happened! Now!" she exclaimed. Emma started to smile dreamily. "Oh, Manny. He really loves me." Manny squealed happily. "I told you! So, are you gonna?" Emma nodded. "Tomorrow night." Manny smiled. "You two are so perfect for each other. So, tomorrow, we're going to go visit my doctor and get you on the pill and then buy you a very sexy bra and thong from the mall. Then we'll go to Sephora (A/N: This is a huge make-up and perfume place that me and all my friends love to go to in New York. I don't know if there's one in Canada, but, oh well, there's one there now!) and get you the perfect perfume. You don't want make-up, it'll just smear. Then you'll go to Sean's house, and it'll be wonderful. I promise."

Emma gaped at Manny. "Did you plan this out or something?" Manny looked down at her hands guiltily. Emma hit Manny's arm.

"What, I just want your first time to be meaningful and beautiful and special and all that! I'm trying to help!" Manny said defensively.

"Okay, I know. And thanks," said Emma.

Manny glanced at the clock. "We better go to bed early," she told Emma.

Emma frowned. "But it's eight o'clock."  
Manny grinned wickedly. "Yeah, but- you're not going to be getting much sleep tomorrow night, are you?"

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger!


	8. I Can See Forever

Sean was running frantically around the house, trying to clean. He ran up to his bedroom, washed the sheets and made his bed. He grabbed a condom and put it in his jean pocket. He had never been more nervous before in his life. Should I have gotten candles? he wondered. He shook his head, dismissing the idea. It probably would've been too much. He glanced at his watch. Emma would be here any minute. He sat down on the couch, trying to calm down. But he couldn't stop worrying. Should we do something first, like order a pizza or watch a movie? Or should we just do it? I hope it's not too awkward. He heard a knock on the door. She was here.  
xXx  
Emma glanced down at her outfit, hoping it wasn't too casual. She was wearing a tank top and mini skirt- should she have dressed up? Would he have dressed up? Emma imagined Sean in a tuxedo. She suppressed a giggle.

Sean opened the door. "Hey," he said, obviously trying to be casual. "You look really pretty." Emma blushed. "Thanks." She stepped inside the house. It was unnaturally clean.  
"So," she asked, "do you want to go up to your room?" He nodded, and they walked upstairs. Sean opened the door for her. Emma started to walk to the center of the room, but he stopped her. She leaned against the wall.

"I just wanted you to know that you're perfect and you're beautiful and I love you," he said quickly. She smiled. "I love you too."

Emma put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Sean pinned her against the door, but not hard enough to hurt her. They started to make out. Sean left a trail of kisses on her neck and collarbone. Emma pulled Sean's wife beater over his head and tossed in on the floor. Sean reached over and switched the lights off. They kissed against the doorway for a little while, and then Sean led Emma to his bed. He laid her down on top of the sheets, and started to kiss her some more. He started to pull off her tank top, but he could feel her stiffen underneath him.  
"You don't have to be nervous," he said soothingly. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm just kinda scared." "I know. And I promise, I'll be very gentle," he reassured her. She nodded, and leaned her head back onto the pillow. They kissed some more, but Sean was almost afraid to try and take off her shirt. Emma noticed this and took his hand, placing it on the bottom of her tank top. "It's okay," she told him. "I won't stop you this time." He nodded, and pulled off her tank top. (A/N: Since this is PG-13, I'm gonna let you guys imagine the rest)  
xXx  
Sean opened his eyes to the harsh glare of the sunlight. He looked down at Emma, who was still asleep in his arms. She looked like an angel. He put his hand over her heart and felt the steady pace of her heartbeat. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled up at him.

"Good morning, Sunshine," he whispered. "Good morning? It's one o'clock in the afternoon. I was supposed to be home about three hours ago." Sean raised his eyebrows. "Emma Nelson, three hours late? Surely such an intelligent and respectable young lady wouldn't be sleeping in so late. I simply can't see a girl like that doing anything inappropriate." "Of course not. I must have been thinking of someone else," she agreed. He kissed the side of her head.

"Are you happy?" he asked. "I've never been happier in my entire life," she told him. "Good."

She sat up and stretched. "We better get going. We're supposed to meet everyone at The Dot in an hour." He tried to pull her back down. "No, don't go. Let's call and cancel. Stay with me. Stay with me forever." "I will. I'm just not going to stay here in this bed forever. Mind if I use your shower?" "Well, okay. But only if you let me join you." She hit him playfully. "Ow! No need to hit me, I was just kidding!" he exclaimed. She rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna go take that shower now." "Okay." She got up and left the room, and he heard the water running for her shower.

Sean laid his head back on the pillow. He felt different, but a good different. A great different. All he could think about was Emma. She was so wonderful. Last night had been absolutely perfect. He had never felt closer to anyone, never loved anyone as much as he loved her. He grabbed the pillow and hugged it tightly, pretending that it was her.  
xXx  
Emma stuck her head out of the bathroom. Sean was still in bed. Typical she thought with a small smile on her face. She snuck into the living room and pulled her cell phone, pressing a button for her speed dial.   
"Hello, Em, is that you?" a hurried voice came from the other end.  
Emma giggled. "Is that how you answer all your calls?" she teased.  
"Emma! I've been waiting for your call all day! So, how was it?" Manny asked.  
Emma sighed happily. "So so so incredible. I swear to God, if I could, I'd marry him today."  
Manny shrieked excitedly. "I knew it! Oh, you're so in love, aren't you?"  
"Totally in love," Emma agreed. "But, Manny, you can't tell anyone about this.

"No way," said Manny.  
xXx  
"...Isn't that romantic! I'm so happy for them!" Manny told her friends excitedly.

Ashley, Spinner, Hazel, Craig, Jimmy, Marco, Toby, Dylan, J.T., Paige and Ellie were listening to Manny go on and on about how cute Emma and Sean were, half surprised that Manny told, half excited for the scoop.

"But you guys can't tell anyone, okay? And don't let Emma know that you know," said Manny with concern.

"Well, duh no," said Paige. "We know how Emma is. Oh my God, this is so cool! I hope they ask me to be a bridesmaid."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You just want an opportunity to wear a fancy dress," she teased. "But I can totally see them getting married."

"They're made for each other," Hazel sighed happily.

"It's very romantic," agreed Ashley. "I'm glad things are going so well for Emma."

"Going so well for _Emma_? What about Sean? Emma's my friend and it's not like I like her or whatever, but still! She's really hot," said Jimmy.

"I just can't believe that Sean knew that he was gonna get lucky and he didn't tell me," said Spinner, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Uh, Spin? Remember what happened the time when I told you about Ash at Paige's surprise party? Sean probably didn't want the same thing to happen," said Craig.

"Yo, whatever man," grumbled Spinner.

"It's so surprising. It seems like just yesterday that Emma was ranting about how horrible her first date with Sean was that day in Grade Seven. And now they're like, getting serious. Time flies by so fast," reminisced Toby.

"Come on, Tobes, it is Sean we're talking about here. Besides, I think they're cute," defended J.T.

"'Cute'? You sound like such a girl," dismissed Spinner.

"Well, I think they're very cute," said Marco firmly.

"Yeah. Good for them," Dylan said with a smile.

"And we can't talk about it in front of them," reminded Manny.

"Hun, although I do love gossip, I never dish my friends' lives to strangers," said Paige.

The door to The Dot open and in walked Emma and Sean, holding hands and wearing smiles that suggested secrets that their friends already knew. (A/N: True, Manny shouldn't have spilled, but don't think that Emma will find out and never speak to each other again. Their friends know and don't talk about it and that's the end of that!)

xXx

One month later, Emma and Manny were hanging out in Manny's room. Manny was modeling her new outfit to Emma.

"Isn't it totally the cutest thing ever?" Manny asked.

"Yeah, sure," said Emma, not really paying attention.

Manny frowned. "What's up with you? You're acting all spacey."

"Nothing's wrong! I'm fine, just drop it!" Emma snapped.

Manny sat down on her bed next to Emma. "Did your friend come to visit? You need a tampon or something?"

"I wish," muttered Emma.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm late," Emma said quietly.

"How late?" Manny asked slowly.

"About a month."

"A _month_?"

Emma buried her head in her arms. "I haven't gotten my period for a month, I've had bad stomach cramps all week, and I threw up this morning and yesterday morning too."

"Oh, God..." said Manny.

Emma's eyes were filling with tears. "I'm pregnant," she whispered.

A/N: Oooooooooh, cliffhanger AGAIN! Sorry, I just couldn't resist!


	9. Room For One More

Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi, blah, blah, blah ï

Manny shook her head. "Em, come on. You don't know that."

"Manny, I slept with Sean a month ago. Now I'm throwing up and my period is M.I.A. Doesn't it sort of add up?"

"Well, have you taken a test?"

"No."

"Well, come on, then! Let's go to the drugstore now!" Manny grabbed Emma's hand and started to pull her out the room.

Emma pulled her hand back. "No. I have to talk to Sean. He needs to know."

"But you don't even know if you're pregnant or not," said Manny reasonably.

Emma shook her head stubbornly. "I'll see you later, Manny," she said and walked out of the room.

xXx

Sean walked into Emma's room, wondering why Emma had sounded so upset over the phone. "Hey, Em."

He saw Emma on her bed, hugging a pillow tightly, her eyes filled with tears. Sean walked over to her and put his arms around her.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Emma buried her head into his shirt. He rubbed her back comfortingly. "You know you can tell me anything," he told her.

She lifted her head. "Please don't hate me," she whispered shakily.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried! So what' s got you so upset?"

Emma took a deep breath. "I think I'm pregnant," she told him.

Sean stared at her for a long time. "No way," he finally said. Emma burst into tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "No, no, don't be. It's not your fault. Look, you said 'I think', right? So you're not sure?" She shook her head. "Shouldn't you like, I dunno, take a test?" he asked uncertainly. "I was going to, but I wanted you to know first." "Well, thanks. I guess in a way I'm glad you did." Emma suddenly got a funny look on her face. "I'll be right back. I just have to go to the bathroom for a sec," she told him. "Okay," he said. _Geez, I hope she's not sick or something. But what are we gonna do? I can't be a dad! And Emma won't be able to go to college with a baby, and she wants to go so badly. This is so messed up,_ Sean thought.

A few minutes later, Emma ran back into the room with a huge smile on her face. Sean got off the bed. "Why are you so happy?" "It's all okay," she said excitedly. "I'm not pregnant, there's no way." "Are you sure?" he asked. "Totally sure. I just got my period. Sean, I'm not pregnant, I'm so happy!" she squealed. Sean felt his face break out into a grin. Emma leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. He spun her around a couple of times, kissed her, and put her down.

"That was a close one," she told him.

Sean nodded. "Next time we'll have to be more careful."

Emma grinned. "What makes you think there's going to be a next time?" she teased. He laughed, pushed her down on the bed, and ticked her until she begged him to stop.

A/N: Okay. Sorry this chapter is so super short. Although, yes, Emma isn't pregnant, the whole pregnant issue isn't really finished. In the next chapter, Sean and Emma realize that they partially wanted a baby. Lots of discussion on their future. It's gonna be great! R&R this chapter, and again, sorry it's so short!


	10. Promise Me Forever

A/N: Here's the next chapter, hope everyone likes it. And by the way, I never saw Accidents Will Happen (it never aired in the USA) so don't blame me if I got it wrong (like Craig's feelings)!

Disclaimer: Why, YES, I DO own Degrassi, actually. Have I mentioned that I'm also a compulsive liar?

Spike was rocking Jack in her arms when Emma came into the kitchen. "Oh, Em, there you are. Could you hold Jack for a sec?"

"Sure," Emma said nodding. She took Jack and sat down. Jack was staring up at her with his large blue eyes. He smiled and pulled on Emma's long blonde hair. Emma laughed and pulled his little fingers off her hair. He instantly made a fist around Emma's finger.

"It must be nice," Emma said suddenly. "Having a baby, I mean. I know it's tough raising a kid and labor really hurts and all of that stuff, but it's worth it, right? Having someone who's always there, someone who will love you no matter what. It's almost like you have a little person all your own. Yeah, you've got the father and all, and no one really can have a person, but still. I'd sort of like a baby. It would probably mess up my future and all that, but it would be nice. I could just hold it and talk to it and tell it all of my problems. I'd love that baby so much." Emma looked away. "Mom, I'm putting Jack in his cradle, okay? I'm gonna take a walk." Emma dashed out of the room before Spike could ask any questions.

Emma put on her jacket and walked outside. _This is so stupid _she thought. _I'm glad that I'm not pregnant. I'm really glad! Everything would change if I got pregnant. I'd have to carry it for nine months and have to endure all the whispers and rumors. I'd get a reputation as a total slut. Mom and Snake would ground me until my death day. I'd be throwing up and cranky and I'd get all these mood swings. Then I'd have to go through labor, which according to Mom is like the most painful thing ever, and I'm totally afraid of pain. Then two years of slave labor and sixteen years of responsibility. I don't think I could do it. And that's not even mentioning about what Sean would think about all this. But...it would be so nice, to have someone just for me and Sean. Sean and I could get married and we'd be a family. I never had a father when I was growing up; it was just me and Mom. God, I'd love that. All the hardship wouldn't matter, if I could just be with Sean and the baby. But there is no baby. So I should just forget about it. _

It wasn't until Emma touched her cheek that she realized that she was crying.

xXx

Craig opened the door to see Sean Cameron standing in his doorway, which was a surprise. Sean was his friend, but they were never as close as they had been in Grade Eight and the beginning of Grade Nine.

"Uh, hey man. What's up?" Craig asked unsurely.

"Need to talk to you. Can I come in?" Sean mumbled.

Craig stepped aside. "No problem." Sean sank into a nearby couch as Craig settled into a chair.

"I know it's kinda sudden, me just popping in here like this. But I've got a lot on my mind lately." Craig nodded understandingly. "There's no subtle way to say this, so I just will. I slept with Emma." Sean looked up, and Craig realized he was waiting for a reaction. "Um, wow, that's a...real shocker. I didn't see that one coming." Craig hoped he sounded convincing.

Sean shrugged. "Yeah, well...anyways, yesterday Emma came over like, in tears. Told me she thought that she might be...pregnant." Craig sat up. _Oh, shit. That's why he's here. Shit. _

"So let me get this straight," Craig said slowly. "You got Emma pregnant, and now you're asking me for advice. I hate to break it to you dude, but I was absolute shit at taking care of Baby Jack and I haven't really been practicing, seeing as Manny got an abortion."

Sean shook his head. "She took a test, and she's negative. So it's all good, right? I shouldn't think twice about it."

Craig looked at him strangely. "Yeah. But Sean, am I right in saying that maybe a part of you wanted that baby?" Sean didn't say anything. "Because with me, I knew that a baby would change a ton of things and make life harder, but I wanted a baby. I mean, both my parents are dead, but I thought that with Manny and the kid, we could be. You know. Together. All three of us. Then Manny decided she couldn't be a mom so that was pretty much the end of that. But you feel the same way, right?"

Sean didn't say anything for a long time while Craig waited patiently for his answer. "My parents are in Wasaga Beach, and my brother's in Alberta. I live alone. But maybe Emma and I could've gotten married and lived at my place with the baby. I thought that'd be cool. I don't really have much of a family. But Em and the baby, they could be my family. They could be for me."

"Sean...you should marry Emma," said Craig.

"What?" asked Sean.

"You obviously love her and feel really strongly for her. When you're older, you two should get married."

Sean nodded. "I think I'm gonna go over to Emma's." Sean grinned suddenly. "Got a diamond ring I can borrow?"

"What? You're gonna propose now?"

"Just kidding," laughed Sean. Craig punched his shoulder. "Get outta here!" he said smiling. Sean walked to the door and waved good-bye as he walked outside.

xXx

"Em! Sean's here to see you!" Spike called down the stairs. "Okay, send him down," Emma yelled. Sean came down the basement stairs and into Emma's room. He lay down next to Emma on her bed and held her hand. They didn't say anything for awhile. Finally, Emma turned to him.

"As much as I love cuddling and holding hands, I get the feeling that there's something you want to talk about," she said.

Sean didn't say anything, just pulled her shirt up a couple of inches and placed his hand on her flat stomach.

Emma sighed. "Oh, that. All I can say is, I'm sorry. I mean, we used protection and I followed the prescription for the pill, so-"

"No, not that. Like I said, it's not your fault. It's just, I dunno, I've been thinking a lot. About that baby. What it would be like if you were pregnant."

"Yeah, me too," admitted Emma.

"It would've been hard, but worth it," said Sean.

"We'd be like a little family," said Emma quietly. She looked away, unable to meet Sean's glance.

"Hey, come here," said Sean as he pulled her closer. "Don't be sad."

"It's for the best, right? We're too young to be parents."

Sean kissed the top of her head. "We'll have other kids," he told her. Emma looked up at him. "What did you just say?" she asked.

"Em, I know I'm not exactly Prince Charming. I'm stubborn, I'm not that smart, I've got a hell of a temper, and I've got no money. There's not much that I can offer you. But I swear, I'll always love you. Always. You're the best, just the way you are. I just want to be with you. Because that's the only I know how to do. I may not be that good at it at times, but it's all I want to do. So please, don't leave me." Sean pulled something out of his pocket. It was a sapphire ring. He put in on Emma's left hand ring finger. "I know we're too young to get engaged, so this is a promise ring. It was my mom's once. Em, after high school and after college, would you marry me?" Emma's eyes rounded. "This isn't really romantic, I know, so when I can afford a real diamond, I'll take you out to a big fancy dinner and then take you home and your room will be filled with rose petals and all that. That can be our real engagement. But until then...say yes." Emma hugged him. "I don't even have to consider it. This ring will never leave my finger." She raised her eyebrows. "Until you can afford a diamond engagement ring, of course." Sean hit her shoulder lightly. "I was kidding! This ring...it's incredible, Sean. I love you." "I love you too." Emma lifted her newly-ringed left hand and touched his face. Sean closed his eyes and placed his hands over hers.

"I wish I could stay longer," he told her, "But I have to go." Sean leaned down and kissed her stomach. "See you later." And then he was gone.

Emma fell back on her pillows and screamed in happiness. She grabbed her phone. She just had to call everyone she knew- they'd be so excited!

A/N: R&R!


	11. Letting Go

A/N: Sorry I haven't written in so long! Here's the next part.

The stillness of the night hung over the roof of Emma's house. Emma could feel her mind slowly easing into sleep when she heard the window slide open. She could hear footsteps making their way to Emma's bed, and then her covers were pulled back as someone climbed into bed with her. She felt sudden warmth as she was pulled into those familiar arms.

"Sean, what are you doing here?" she said, glad he couldn't see the small smile on her face.

Sean frowned, and rested his chin on her shoulder. "How'd you know it was me?" he asked.

Emma shrugged. "I didn't. I wasn't sure if it was you or one of my numerous secret boyfriends. Lucky guess."

"Hey!" he exclaimed, and she laughed. "I was kidding. I could just tell it was you." He leaned his head down and bit her gently, leaving a perfect circle of teeth marks. "That's what you get for worrying me," he scolded.

Emma raised an eyebrow. "I worried you? I'm sorry." She grinned flirtatiously at him. "How can I possibly make it up to you?" she asked.

Sean grinned back at her. "I'm sure I can think of something," he teased as he pulled her in tightly.

xXx

Emma groggily opened her eyes. "What time is it?" she muttered. For a second she couldn't remember anything. What had she done last night? Then she turned and saw Sean sleeping next to her. Oh, yeah. God, he looked hot in the morning.

Sean's eyes opened a bit. "Em?" he asked. "Who else? Listen, my parents will be back from their little weekend getaway soon, so get dressed," she told him.

Sean looked up at the clock. "Em, your parents aren't going to be back for hours. Relax." Emma nestled her head into his chest. "You're right. As always."

He laughed. "Right as always? Me? I'm never right, unless the topic is sex. Now that is a subject I'm always right in." Emma hit him with a pillow. "So conceited," she teased as she snuggled up against him.

Sean kissed her forehead. "You're so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?" Emma smiled up at him. "Only about thirty times a day," she told him. "Well, you are. Don't ever forget it. You're the most beautiful...perfect...amazing...I don't deserve-" He broke off and held her tighter. "God, I love you," he murmured. She sighed in content, and whispered into his ear, "I wish every day could be like this." He pulled away from her, his face serious. "What if it could be? What if every day could be like this?"

Emma laughed. "If every day was like this, then I'd end up pregnant in about a week." Sean shook his head. "I'm serious. You love me, right?" Emma gave him a confused look. "Of course I love you." "Then move in with me."

Emma instantly sat up, pulling the sheets up with her. "What? Move in...with you?" Sean rolled his eyes. "No, Em, move in with Jay. Of course with me." Emma's eyes widened. "Wow. Sean, I-I don't know. Moving in...that's a really big step Sean. I mean, I'm only 15. What will my parents say?"

"Why is it that you always worry about what other people want? So try again. Pretend that you have no parents. Do you want to move in?" Emma didn't say anything. Sean started to get out of the bed. "Okay, guess that's a "no"," he muttered. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Yes," she whispered. "More than anything." Sean's face was lit with a smile. "Talk to your parents. They'll understand. They just want you to be happy, right?" Emma nodded. "Yeah, I guess so," she said nervously. "Well, I know so," he said confidently. But Emma still wasn't so sure.

xXx

"You want to WHAT?" Spike yelled, leaping to her feet. Emma gulped. "Um...I want to move in with Sean. Please?" Spike snorted. "Sure you can. When you're 21." Emma crossed her arms and glared. "Don't you give me that look, young lady," Spike warned.

"Young lady? Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore. Listen, it's not like I have anything against you. I just...I love Sean. And I want to live with him. I'll still visit you like, all the time. And I'll see Snake every day in school. Just please. I really want this."

"Like it or not, Emma Elizabeth Nelson, you are my daughter and I am not letting you go live with your boyfriend," Spike said, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Emma challenged. "You're 15, that's why!" Spike exclaimed. "You were 16 when you had me," Emma reminded her. "Emma, you are not living with Sean. I refuse you!" Emma tried to hold back her tears, but they started to burn against her eyes. "But Mom, that's not fair!" "Life's not fair. Get over it!" "I hate you, I really do," Emma sobbed as she ran into her room.

Snake walked up behind his wife. "Honey, just let her go. Let her go and be happy. You know she hasn't been the same, ever since Jack was born. It's not like we're losing her forever. Just let her go."

Spike sighed, and walked silently up to Emma's room, where her daughter was crying into her pillow. She placed a warm hand on Emma's back. "Go away," she sniffed. "I can't," Spike told her. "I have to help you pack your suitcases." Emma looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes. Spike nodded, smiling sadly. Emma screamed, and threw her arms around Spike. Spike clung to her daughter, holding onto the last piece of her daughter's childhood.

A/N: R&R!


	12. A Heart Shaped Box

Chapter Twelve: Heart- Shaped Box

A/N: Hey, everyone. Sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I hope everyone finds that Chapter Twelve: Heart- Shaped Box was worth the wait!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Does anyone know who actually does?

Marco burst into Emma's room, panting and out of breath. He glanced around the normally clean room, now filled with large cardboard boxes. He spotted Emma in the corner, packing up her closet.

"Emma!" he cried, rushing over by her side. "Is it true? Are you really moving in with Sean?"

Emma smiled. Marco was always in need for the latest gossip. "Yes, it's true. Sean and I are moving in together." Marco instantly pulled her into a hug and kissed both her cheeks. "_Bellissima_, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you! Oh, look at you, you're positively glowing!" Marco gushed.

Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Marco, out of all my friends who have congratulated me, you are by far the most enthusiastic. In fact, you're almost happier than I am." Marco raised an eyebrow. "Almost?" he asked. "Almost," she said with a sly grin.

"When are you moving in?" he asked. "Tomorrow," she told me. "I'll help you move in!" he cried excitedly. Emma shook her head. "That's okay. I've already got everyone else helping." Marco stomped his foot stubbornly. "And you're going to leave me out? No way! I'm helping. And I'll call Dylan. He can help too." "Thanks, but you don't need to do all that..." Emma said. "Nonsense!" exclaimed Marco. "And after you're settled in, we can have a house warming party!" Emma smiled. Marco was such a good friend. "Thanks. That's really sweet of you." Marco grinned. "Hey, what are friends for?"

xXx

Emma looked around Sean's apartment –no, it was their apartment now- and felt a tinge of satisfaction. There was a pile of empty boxes in the corner and she still had to put her clothes in the closet, but they were pretty much done. She was now officially living with her boyfriend.

Sean walked over to Emma and took her hands in his. "So," he asked simply. "What now?"

xXx

Sean walked into the bathroom. Emma was still sleeping. She had worked so hard with all the moving in stuff that was going on, so he decided to let her sleep. Besides, after he was done washing up, he could watch her sleep. As corny and stupid as that was, he liked watching Em as she slept. She looked all serene and peaceful. Sort of like Sleeping Beauty or whatever.

He reached over for a face towel. But there was something wrong. He shook his head. "Emma," he said quietly. He grabbed the towel and stormed into his room.

Emma was still curled up in bed. "Em. Up. Now." Emma muttered some gibberish and pressed her face into the pillow. "Emma, I mean it," he said, shaking up awake. Emma slapped his hand away. "Emma, get up right now." Emma sat up. "What?" she snapped. Sean tossed the towel onto the bed. He crossed his arms. "What is that?" Emma looked at him in disbelief. "What does it look like, stupid? It's a _towel_. I cannot believe you woke me up at six in the morning on a Saturday to discuss a towel." "I know it's a towel!" said Sean irritably. "But it's purple." Emma shook her head, her blond bed-head locks shaking. "It's lavender," she told him. "Why is there a _lavender_ towel in our bathroom?" he asked. "I put it there," she said simply. "No, duh. But why?" "I like lavender. Now go away. We'll talk about this in four or five hours," she said as she buried her head back into the pillow.

Sean knew it was no use. "_Lavender_," he muttered to himself as if it was some kind of a swear word, and walked back into the bathroom, ready to destroy anything lavender.

xXx

It had been four days since what Emma's friends like to refer to as the Lavender Incident. The towels were now gone (Emma went for ivory towels instead. Sean reluctantly agreed, thinking that at least she didn't want pink), and Sean and Emma still had the occasionally laugh about their first fight in the apartment. Emma was sitting at the kitchen table finishing up her homework when Sean poked his head into the room.

"Remind me, Emma," he began casually. "Do we have kids?" Emma looked up from the polynomials, surprised. "Well, no. We don't."

"Then what," he asked through clenched teeth, "is this?" He walked into the room. Attached to his hand was a small arm. Attached to that arm was a little girl with two blond braids sprouting from her head. "Hi Emma!" the girl said in a high-pitched voice, waving furiously. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, two other little girls identical to the one Sean was holding onto burst into the room. "Hi Emma! Hi Emma!" they said in unison.

Sean dropped the little girl's arm in shock. "Oh, my God! They're multiplying!" he cried. The three identical girls began jumping up and down. "Hi Emma! Hi Emma! Hi Emma!" they squealed excitedly.

Emma dropped her pencil. "Lucy? Lisa? Leah? What are you three doing here?" Sean looked at her in shock. "You know these...these..._things_?" he asked. "They're not things, they're identical triplets. They're also my nine-year-old cousins, who live in Connecticut. What are you three doing here?" she said, turning to the girls.

One of them –Lucy- stepped forward. "Mommy said that you moved in with your boyfriend. So we decided to be like you. Except we don't have boyfriends. So we're moving in with you! Isn't that cool?" She turned to Sean. "Are you Emma's boyfriend?" Sean was speechless for a second. "Yeah, I am," he said. "Wow! You're pretty, just like Emma!" cried Lucy happily. "_Pretty?_" said Sean in disgust. "Um, girls, Sean and I need to have a grown-up talk. We'll be right back." "Okay!" said the triplets cheerfully.

Emma pulled Sean into another room. "I'll call their mother, she must be sick with worry. They'll just have to stay here for a few days. Okay?"

Sean shook his head. "Not okay."

"They have nowhere else to go!"

"Emma, they called me _pretty_!"

"It was a compliment!"

"They have to go. Why can't they go live with your mom?"

"She can't handle Jack, a recovering Snake, _and_ three nine-year-olds!"

"Neither can I! Those girls are like the Energizer Bunny times three!"

"Why do you have to be so selfish?"

"What about you? Why do you have to be so _nice_ all the time? What, do you have some sort of hero complex?"

Emma's face twisted. "That's not fair."

"Get over it. I'm sick and tired of you thinking about everyone in the world except for you and me. What, don't I matter? Don't my feelings matter? How would you like it if I acted like this towards you? Admit it, Emma, you don't really love me. The only people you really love are your parents and the orphans in Africa. Why am I even wasting my time? I should have just gone out with Alex. At least with her I can actually tell she cares."

Emma was reduced to tears. "Fine," she sobbed. "I'll move out. Tomorrow. You'll never have to see me again."

She ran out of the room, still in tears. Sean stood shell-shocked, wondering if it was really over. How could he fix this?

_You can't_, something told him. _You can't take back what you've done_.

A/N: Review, please.


	13. Hate To Say I Told You So

Chapter Thirteen: Hate To Say I Told You So

A/N: R&R

Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Degrassi. Period.

Emma walked outside into the cool air. The sun was setting and she watched the brilliant colors flash through the sky. She didn't even hear Sean come up behind her.

They stood there in silence. Sean finally whispered, "I don't even know what to say. Can you believe that? For the first time in my life, I don't know what to say to you." Emma's lower lip quivered. "Why don't you say the truth? That I'm a bad girlfriend. You were right." "No, I was out of line. I was pissed off so I said stuff that I didn't mean." Emma turned away. "Yeah, okay. It's no big deal. Let's just forget we fought."

"Are you sure? Because you seem really upset to me," said Sean, obviously concerned.

"Well, what am I supposed to feel? I'm sorry, Sean. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. Sorry I'm not the girl you want me to be. Sorry that I suck so badly. I'm sorry that I'm so bad at loving you." Emma suddenly started crying. She dropped down to the ground, wrapped her hands around her legs, buried her head into her knees, and sobbed. "Oh, God. Oh, God. What should I do? What should I be? What have I done to make you so unhappy?" she cried. Sean dropped down to his eyes. "Em. Emma. Look at me," Emma didn't lift her head, just kept crying and crying like she would forever. Finally, she held up her head, her eyes red-rimmed and her face soaked. "Oh, Emma," he sighed. "Don't you know you're everything to me?" This made her cry ever harder.

Sean hated himself. He hated seeing Emma like this. He hated this feeling of helplessness. Most of all he hated himself because he did not know what to do in this sort of situation. He didn't know what he could say to make it all better, or what he could do to make all her hurt go away. He was weak. Useless. Even with Emma so close to him, she might as well be millions of miles away.

He felt sick.

Emma was crying. Her jeans were soaked with tears. The sun was setting. It was getting dark outside. Sean gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Don't. Just...don't," she said through her tears.

It was getting dark outside. Emma was still crying. Sean still felt sick.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short. Please review.


	14. Shockwave

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Haven't we been through this before?

Emma walked into the apartment. It felt like the cold of the rain was soaking into her bones. Sean shuffled his feet a bit. "So, um, I'm just gonna go take a shower," he said finally. "That's fine. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, okay?" He shook his head. "No, it's okay, I can sleep on the couch. You can take the bed." "No, really. I insist." Emma hated talking to Sean like this, as if he was a stranger, as if she had to be polite. It sounded so awkward. She wanted to yell at him and tear his hair out and cry and let him hold her and feel loved again. She wanted to be told everything would be alright, especially now, when she was so afraid it wouldn't be. Emma sighed, and brushed her hair back. She changed into some dry pajamas and settled into the couch, trying to fall asleep. But, naturally, she had a horrible case of insomnia. She reached out for Sean, and then she remembered that he wasn't there.

xXx

It was two o'clock in the morning when Sean woke up. Not by choice, but by the familiar scent of her. He turned, and there she was, right next to him. She rested her hand on his back, lightly tracing over his shoulder blades with her finger.

"Do you remember that fight you had in Jimmy in Grade Seven? And you ended up pushing me into leaves?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I was so mad at you that day. I ran home and told my mom everything. She said that she could understand why I was angry, but maybe I should really think about it before I dumped you. She said that no one is perfect. I mentally dismissed it as a standard mother lecture, and you know the rest of the story. But maybe there is a part of people that is perfect. Even if most of the world thinks you're a screw-up, but there's still that one person out there who needs you more than anything. We're perfect in our imperfections." She paused for a long time. "Does that make any sense?" Sean ran his fingers through her hair. "Em, I'm so sorry." "Look, let's just stop this. It's over. We fought, and it was bad, and it's over now. I just, I want to be us again." Sean wrapped his arms around her waist. "Let's just go to sleep," Emma said quietly. But she didn't go to sleep. She waited for Sean to go to sleep first, and listened to him until she had memorized the patterns of his breathing. She let herself fall back into safety, and into a dream.

xXx

_I'm walking next to you, and we're just talking and laughing about nothing general. It's just one of those lazy days when everything seems right. I look down and see that my fist is clamped tightly around something. I open my hand and there it is: a white-hot flash; the promise of a miracle._

xXx

Emma woke up and saw that she had been holding Sean's hand in her sleep.

_We are perfect in our imperfections. _

A/N: Did you like this chapter? I don't really know about it. I'll read it and think it's good, then I'll read it again and be like, "Nah, bad-bad." I've been working on this damn thing for three hours! Ugh! R&R...hope you liked it...don't be brutal.


End file.
